Lounge Report: London Heathrow T2 United Airlines Lounge

Well.

After a not so fabulous flight on UA, I was so looking forward to trying out SQ's new lounge concept called 'Home Away From Home' (which by the way is also the tagline for CX's lounge in HKIA) in London T2.

The terminal had only just recently gone into operations and is dedicated to Star Alliance carriers. And it was to be the second site, I believe, after Sydney to have SQ's new lounge designs. I checked in advance and it looked like everything was all set up. But this was not to be. Horror of horrors, the lounge was not completed and we had to go to UA's lounge instead.

OMG. UA. Again.

The lady pushing our wheelchair was a nice Indian young lady that was chatty throughout. We had a great time talking about favorite airlines and lounges. She said she had a lot of opportunities to see the cabins of different carriers because of her job and she loved SQ. Yes dear, we all do.

The trek to the transit area was PUNISHING. It was far, like walking from one end of a soccer field to the other. And with a wheelchair passenger and carry on luggage for two, that was HELL. We saw buggies going by and the lady told us that we could not avail that because we had requested a wheelchair. It just did not make sense. If we had not asked for a wheelchair, we could have had the buggy??

For a while, it was "are we there yet?"

We got to security and oh well, typical. One airport says yes, another says no. They made a big deal about some liquid medication that IAD had checked and cleared, saying it was different in London. Uh hm. Difference in common sense?  The supervisor who oddly enough had an American accent that we spoke to was unrelenting. He said he could not make an exception even if it was medication that was cleared by the Americans. Ok. Whatever.

They had the cheek to say: Go to the pharmacy here at the airport. Ours is much better than this!

Well, I was just grateful they didn't trash my Tom Ford Black Orchid that I forgot to check in! Ok so Tom Ford is fine, medicine nope. Got it.

We got to the UA lounge. The lounge dragons were actually very nice. We went in. And well!  UA did something right. I will let the pictures speak for themselves.

Of course I had to try the showers. It was pretty full and you had to book in advance. I got my slot, and went in when it was time. The place smelled and looked like a spa. Very impressive. The rooms were also beautifully designed, but if I have to gripe, I wished they had better amenities inside.

Plane spotting: Not so much but you do get full windows to the tarmac. Oh and a view to beautiful London weather!

UA definitely shone in their product. It is just tragic that the same standards aren't followed through in other aspects of their business. But hey, even the best can falter.

Our next flight was with SQ. And again we had requested in advance, wheelchair service. The dude came over when we were in the bathroom. He told the reception he would be back in 15 minutes to get us. That would have meant 15 minutes to departure. Odd. At 10 minutes to departure, we got frantic paging on the intercom that we had to go to the gate. We made our way to the reception. Then BOOM, three SQ ground staffers showed up REALLY GRUMPY. Heard some commotion about how the passengers were not ready to be picked up earlier. Er hm. HALLO. YOUR paid for airport service didn't come back!

Then, to make sure they got an on time departure, we finally got what should have been offered in the first place. BUGGIES. Two of them. They scrambled to drive us to the gate. But the buggies were designed to lock people in, and they can't get out without someone unlatching the door from the outside. I was stuck. Until they realized they had to get me out.

It was chaos. Enough for me to write them in to HQ, which I hardly ever do. But you can't blame your passengers for service failures, and then show them your unhappiness with your black faces.

Thankfully though, when we got on board, the atmosphere immediately calmed us down. I have always maintained that the thing with Singapore Airlines is that you always feel like you are already home the moment you step on their planes. And I hear this a lot from other business travelers who fly with them. And they somehow are able to keep the cabin calm inside.

We had like 3-4 people all lunging forward to help us, especially after they saw the wheelchair coming down the bridge. We had them help us with our luggage, which some airlines by policy forbid their staff to do. And even though we were late, we were still given the full pre-take off service of drinks, hot towel and magazines.

Anyway that is for the next trip report!

Trip Report: United Airlines Business Class IAD - LHR

Ok. So you will hear this common refrain throughout this post: NEVER FLY AMERICAN CARRIERS.

And now let's see why.

Way before the flight, tried to do online check in via the web and their app. Failed on all counts. But that's fine, we had to check in our luggage anyway so we definitely had to visit the counter.

Here's where we knew we weren't in Kansas anymore.

We had this agent, who oddly enough sounded French, who initially was sort of a weird mix of being terse and being pleasant.  We reminded her of our need for a wheelchair that we had pre-arranged two months prior, and gave her my status card for benefits.  She took our passports and the card.

She took forever to process us.

Then she said that we were over the baggage limit and that we had to cough up the cash.

I told her, erm no. I am Gold. I am entitled to the baggage.

Have you seen that British comedy show on TV called Little Britain, with that annoying pencil pusher character that would type away at her keyboard for long periods of time before replying to a query: The computer says no.

Well, this lady was that.  She typed and typed and typed and said that I had to pay.  Then, almost as if this was some bad travel movie, she called in her colleague who was equally clueless.  They worked on the computer a lot more, before the guy looked at the bags and said, Oh you are over limit.

Again. The computer says no.

I said: I am flying Business Class. I am Gold.

Stars were floating above his head.

They took so long that we had barely an hour to clear security. IAD is a big airport. And our gate was not exactly close by.  Any thoughts of checking out the lounge went out of the window.

I insisted on speaking to a supervisor.  Calling him took some more time.  When he arrived, he looked at the computer again and said that the extra baggage was only for Gold.  I told him I was.  He said not in the system.  I said I gave her my card.

Suddenly a light went off above them.  OHHHH I gave them my card!

The lady had not even looked at it. So she did not even key the card in. She realized she made such a boo boo and apologized.  And so she tried to key in the card. And she failed. She claimed the computer would not let her.

Again. The computer says no.

OMG.

Finally this supervisor did it himself.  It worked.  My baggage was checked through to final destination.  We were on our way.

But where was the wheelchair?

45 minutes to take off.

I'll save you the grief of that part of the experience and just say we got to the gate right before the doors closed, and only after going through areas in the airport the public would not know about, and after seeing very grumpy United ground staff at the gate.

When we got onboard, NO ONE helped with the wheelchair passenger.  Not the crew, not the purser, no one.

Got to the seat. The layout just didn't make much sense.  First row facing forward, second row facing backward and towards the third that was facing them.  Don't know what genius thought travelers would want to see someone else's feet.

Anyway, let the pictures show it all.

So here's the welcome drink. OJ. In a plastic cup. Wow. How post 911 cost cutting / blame the terrorists for going cheap.  Real premium.

First onboard reason to: NEVER FLY AMERICAN CARRIERS.

The nuts were warm though. But not their service.

I did like their amenity kits.  They were little tins with standard items inside.  Useful if you wanted a cable container or pencil case. Everyone got a different city / destination. And if you really wanted to be greedy or were a true blue collector, you could swipe the ones the jaded business class travelers left at their seats!  I have always griped that SQ never gives out kits. But with UA I had to grapple with the question: Would I give up a kit for better products and services? Hmmm.

Cabin Shots:

The layout is 2-3-2.  Seriously. Aren't airlines going for direct aisle access now? Oh yeah, this is an American carrier, they are still 15 years behind everyone else in aviation.

The cabin was designed with monochromatic colors.  Quite unlike the funky and fun KLM, or the New Asian interiors of TG.  It felt like a flying office, which may be what UA's primary demog loves.  

Just cold and sterile, like the entire UA experience.

The seats were functional. But the wear and tear was obvious, and maintenance clearly did not give a damn.

Row 2 behind us. Fly backwards anyone?

Center row. 3 seats. 3. 3some anyone?

That can't be comfy. And yes the dude was fiddling with this head set because it just was not working.

That never closed.

Seat controls

Really wasn't too ergonomic in design. Placement of ports etc were not thought out from a user perspective.

Slotted in my selfie stick into the magazine slot.

No one took my jacket to hang in the cupboard.

And I thought the LH little foot cubby hole was bad. This was AWFUL.

IFE:

What IFE?  They seemed to have some decent choices, but hey, the noise canceling headset was a wonderful idea in theory. Theory because they didn't actually work. And IFE? Only TV channels were available, everything else was down. People complained. The chief purser was apathetic and Ah Well, and later shoved these pieces of paper with some codes on them. 

"Go online and put in these codes, and customer service will do something for ya."

Really.

Later I found out that something was USD150 off your next flight. Assuming you would still want to fly with them.

Catering:

OMG.

NEVER FLY AMERICAN CARRIERS.

Ok let's be fair. Their onboard sundae service was quite nice. No wonder Americans have gotten so fat in the last 60 years.  They even plump up in the air.

Salad: Dead vegetables...some bits were brown

Inedible shrimp thing

Looks good? Thanks I take good pictures. Smoke and mirrors people!

Cheese platter. 

I have to say something at this point.

The guy in the next picture?  He had been flying for 15 years. Decided to quit. He was studying to be a nurse. He was the friendly one but you can tell he was jaded. It was like he used to love it and now he hated it. Guess being in UA does that to you.  The rest of the crew did not engage anyone at all. One lady even looked at us as if we were martians.  HALLO. WE PAY YOUR SALARY.

The Sundae Service was nice. The guy loaded mine up to make up for the sucky dinner. More sugar please. I'd LOVE to look like an American.

But you know what made the meal service worse?

So I was finishing up my last bits, and so were a few other passengers. Suddenly: BLACKOUT.  

Yup. They cut the lights. And I mean, CUT all of it. The plane already did not have mood lighting. And now this.  

NEVER FLY AMERICAN CARRIERS.

Breakfast.  Guess how they introduced it?

BRIGHT LIGHTS! 

White fluorescent lights came on suddenly. And I mean SUDDENLY. It didn't matter what you were doing, the cabin just got bright. Not a fade in, a cut in of bright white light. ANNOYING. The last time I experienced that was in the 90's in cattle class.

Breakfast was ok. Nothing special. Granola. Fruits. Juice. Coffee. At least they had a real mug.

After they cut the lights, the crew didn't bother to draw the curtains to the galley.

The cabin before they brought all the lights on.  So it was either total darkness or total brightness.

Entertainment, to replace the IFE

Some other points to note:

The crew really didn't bother to do any clean ups of the lavs. Ew.

By the time we arrived into LHR, we were just so happy to get off the plane.  It wasn't the worst flight, but it was certainly not on par with the products from other airlines.  Even European carriers are playing catch up with the Gulf and Asian carriers faster than the Americans. 

Before arriving, I asked to confirm the wheelchair that we had arranged months ago at LHR.  Crew didn't really check.  The chief purser was pretty active when we did land though to figure out which door the wheelchair was coming from.  But beyond that, you get the impression that they were just dying to get out of the plane.  No warm goodbyes, no thanks for flying with us.  They just didn't seem to care for our business. 

If this was how premium passengers were treated, I could not imagine moo class.

My impressions were so shot that when it was time to book my next series of flights, and I was told the cheapest routing on C was with UA, I put my foot down and said that if I was going to be forced to fly them, I would not go for the business trip.  Fortunately I flew a different routing.

I know it sounds terribly spoilt. But UA was nothing short of a disaster. I just cannot believe that they even have loyal customers, unless of course those customers are nationalistic Republicans or people who never travelled with Asian carriers. @united you guys really need to show your paying customers more respect, and you can start by treating your own staff well first. Happy staff, happy flight.

Summarily, I would not fly them unless there was absolutely no other choice.  Otherwise:

NEVER FLY AMERICAN CARRIERS.

#unitedsucks #unitedairlines #united #USaviation #aviation